When Girls Have Pain During Intercourse

When Girls Have Pain During Intercourse

Girls can experience pain during intercourse for a number of reasons. Here we want to explain possible causes for this and give you tips on what you can do about it.


Does the first time hurt?

Many girls have mixed feelings about the first time, as they are afraid that it could hurt if the hymen should tear. The hymen lies at the entrance to the vagina and usually has an opening. Exactly how it looks and is made up is completely different from girl to girl.
Because the hymen is initially still completely closed in the embryo and only opens or recedes in the course of further organ development. It also becomes more elastic and thinner.

How the hymen changes are very different, which is why the strength of the hymen, the size of its opening, the elasticity, etc. is very different from girl to girl. In about half of the girls, it is the case that the hymen almost completely regresses by puberty, so that it is only present as a “small remnant” in a circle, for example, a kind of “ring”, close to the vaginal wall.

The hymen can be torn or stretched when doing sport (e.g. riding), by inserting tampons or when masturbating. So you can’t tell from the “appearance” of the hymen whether a girl has already had sexual intercourse or not, since cracks can have various causes. Sexual intercourse is only one possibility among many.

Whether the hymen tears the first time (which only happens in about half of the girls!) Depends on its condition So you may feel a kind of short stinging sensation, but it quickly subsides.

Likewise, being in a rush when it comes to the first time can lead to pain. The body is very sensitive to your sensations. If you are still very afraid or not really in the mood for it, your body will react and show that it is not ready yet. It can then be, for example, that the vaginal muscles contract and penetration of the penis hurts or is not possible at all. Even if you are not really aroused before the penis penetrates, it can hurt because the vagina is not yet moist.

It is therefore important that you wait until you really want to do it at the exact moment before you do the first time. A partner who really loves you also wants you not to rush anything and waits for the moment when you both feel like it!


What if I don’t like it?

If you don’t find it nice and comfortable, just say so. If you are in pain, stop immediately. Sex should be fun and feel comfortable. If this is not the case, then the timing may not have been the right one, and then it is important to stop. Hug each other and just caress. There’s always time for the next time.


Not damp enough

Penetration can (but does not have to!) Be perceived as unpleasant not only the first time. In general, women are usually not aroused as quickly as men, which is why the penis can be inserted into the vagina before it is ready. Foreplay in which your boyfriend stimulates your clitoris, smooches and cuddles her naked can help. Take your time before you have intercourse.


Is my vagina too tight?

The vagina is a kind of elastic tube. It is so elastic that even a child can fit through it at birth. If you have the feeling that your vagina is too tight and your partner’s penis does not fit in, it is due to the muscles that surround the vagina. This can contract if for some reason you are not ready for intercourse.



Fears, nervousness, tension, stress, or uncertainty about one’s own sexuality can play a role. In that case, it is important that you build trust with your partner. You can do this by getting to know him better, talking a lot, and also getting to know your bodies without sleeping together.
The subject of contraception is also important! If you are afraid of getting pregnant, you cannot really relax.
You can explore your own sexuality with masturbation.


Penis as a cause of pain

The shape of the penis can cause pain. If the penis is long, it can bump into the cervix, which is often painful. To prevent this, the penis can be inserted less deeply. One possibility is to choose a position in which the girl can determine the depth of the penetration, for example when the boy is lying on his back and the girl is “sitting on” him.
A wider penis can rub the vaginal wall harder than a thinner penis, causing pain. This can be prevented primarily by getting moisture in the vagina, as the penis can then slide better. Saliva and lubricant can help.

Sexually transmitted diseases

Various STDs can make you feel pain during sex. Burning and cutting pain can result from a vaginal or urinary tract infection, for example. If you have never had pain during intercourse and if it occurs suddenly, this can be an indication that you have an STD, a fungus or an infection.
If you suspect that something is wrong, you should immediately go to the dermatologist or gynecologist for treatment. Treatment from your partner is sometimes required as well.


Vaginismus is a defensive reflex against sexual intercourse and touching the vagina. The causes are mostly of an emotional nature. Touching the vagina leads to a convulsive contraction of the vaginal muscles, which makes it impossible for the penis to penetrate.
The causes can be an upbringing that condemns sex as something dirty, experiences of abuse, an inner rejection of the partner, or fear of injury from pain during sex.
In this case, you should consult a gynecologist, possibly also a psychologist or therapist.


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